Chicken Nugget Central

For those who have experienced laughing alone at Kuwait cinema.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Poker anyone??

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My mum told me about a woman who wanted to see me for her son. I of course as usual told her there will be no seeing unless the dude comes along too. Shino ana furja?? (Maskeena my mum, I need to give her something.)
Anyways, the woman came with the dude, who I knew from the first glance I would no way in hell marry. However, I find it interesting to have conversations with these guys. I like to pick their brain as to what they think marriage is about. Also the bullshit they come up with trying to make a good impression is hilarious.


The scene: We are all sitting in one large L shaped living room, chatting away, when my mum tells the dude that he may sit with me at the other side of the room, so we may talk '3ala ra7atna'. Here are some tidbits of conversation:

Him: Ana a7ib il shi3ir, a7ib ag3ad o asra7 o afakir. O a3shag shay isma gahwa. Yimkin ashrab 3ishreen koob gahwa bil yom!
Me: Ay no3 gahwa?
Him: Turkiya
Me: Hmmm.... *smile* ( since I am picturing him with his notebook, in his own little world in the basement of our home, ignoring me and daydreaming while scribbling away)
Him: Ee o a7ib'ha min eedich intay.
Me: E inshallah lysh la'. (I said this while doing the calculation of 20 cups x 15 mins per cup = 5 hours. Poor dude thinks I am gonna spend 5 hours of my life walking up and down the stairs of the basement making him coffee while he writes poetry. Yes that IS what I want from my life! Idiot!)

So here basically what he is saying, is that he wants to do his own thing, while I of course as a woman have no life other than to please his whims, and that he wants to write poetry while staring deep into my eyes, in between me getting him cups of coffee of course.

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Him: 3indich sadeegat?
Me: Ee akeed (had to bite my tongue from saying asdiga ba3ad)
Him: Ee bes ana 3indy shar6, sadeegatich ma itkalmeenhum ila min il 5-7. Ghayra aby wagtich iykoon lee
Me: Inshallah khayr (while trying not to laugh in his face)

From this request I got that he thinks as a 'simple' woman, I would in no way be able to define for myself how to take care of my man, and need to have rules in place to keep me in check. You would think I had accepted to marry the idiot!

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Me: 3indik mani3 ina ni6la3 ka majmoo3a?
Him: Ishlown ya3ny?
Me: Mathalan, ana ma3ak, ma3a sadeegik o murta, inroo7 ba7ar mathalan
Him: Lysh? Ana awadeech kil mukan.
Me: E bes 3ashan itkoon jam3a
Him: La mala da3y
Me: E bes awnas itha sirna yam3a
Him: La la mala da3y
Me: ZAIN BALA NABY NIL3AB KOUT BU 4!?!?

Yes I actually said those exact words. Need I say more?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Slooooooooop = SLOPE :/

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This is a crappy poem I wrote during the class of a Sa'eedy professor who was attempting to teach a very difficult subject in ENGLISH, which he could NOT SPEAK. He completely butchered the most important words, so we had no clue what he was on about.

Glad those days are over!!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

TIDBITS: Volume 1

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- Why do people always call you when you don't feel like talking to anyone, or when you are busy? Like at the salon, or trying something on?? And when you are bored, it is like the world forgot your existence?

- Oh and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE somebody tell me how to stop those SPAM SMS!!! AHH!!

- I think I am being 'courted' by a handsome older man who apparently used to be a bodyguard. Which is hot. Not sure though, does calling me everyday while I was sick and sending me msgs count as courting? Actually he is still calling, even though I told him I was better. Hmmmm, I sent him a msg once saying 'wayhik 7ilo 3alay', do you guys think he took it as a signal?? Madry I don't understand this stuff :S

- Girls, would you marry a guy who was perfect in every way and very suitable for you and your family if he was a mama's boy? Please explain your answer.

- I watched Memoirs of a Geisha on dvd. I expected it to be more glamorous, and include more intricate details and dances. Still I enjoyed it.

- I have come to the conclusion that my GF is fucking crazy! But I love her to bits, even though she is mit7ajba and flashed her stomach to the world while at a crowded mall, apparently trying to explain to me that I was walking too fast and her top was riding up. Yes she purposely pulled her top up! A married woman with child.

- Sabrina the teenage which is SO annoying, and yet you watch.

- How hard is it to ride a motorbike? I am thinking of renting one over the holiday. Looks like fun :D

.........................................

The best mirror of yourself is in the reflection of a horny admirer's eyes - MiYaFuSHi

Friday, February 17, 2006

Men are the source of all evil


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Think about it girls....have'nt most of your problems come from men?? Women will sneakly and cattily hurt you now and then, in a way you can quickly blow off. But men will be in your face evil !! with a smile on top!!

You need one of these, hell I NEED one of these.

Only thing missing is sound; screams of excruciating agony, so I can hear the result of my violence.

Get it
here.

P.S. I realise this is a bitter and generalized post. KAYFY!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Excuse me while I make lemonade.

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DEAR LIFE,


THANK YOU FOR THE BIG FUCK YOU'S.


YOURS TRULY,

MIYA.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Warm Round Ass

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For the single men out there. Feeling lonely on valentines day? Need to get your hands on a warm juicy ass?

I present to you the....Ba-Donka-Donk Mouse!!


Stolen from here

You have 5 seconds to get away from the Vehicle!

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I was just reading Ms. Baker's post and remembered an incident that happened to me.

I had just left work, and was in a hurry to get home. Driving along the highwhy as usual, I noticed a grown man dressed to the nines, in a flashy new car following me. Now when I am driving I always look straight ahead no matter what

Anywas, this guy drove next to me, then in front of me, then behind me, on and on and would not leave. I was getting close to my exit off the highway and had to get rid of him, we were in the middle lane and he was right behind me.....so ladies and gentleman, I present to you my sadistic side.....

I thought to myself, "You ass think you can get me with your ho car!? MASHY! Ana a3alimik il adab!"

I readied my hand on the gear and slammed my breaks as hard as I could, so he was a feather away from crashing into me, then quickly put it on second and slammed the gas and sped away. It all happened in a split second, but I made sure to catch the look on his face as he got up close and personal with my bumper break lights :D

His eyes widened to resemble something out of an anime cartoon, and the gitra flew off his head! He went right then left, and I could swear I heard him swearing at me!

Naturally, he drove far far away from me :P

Poor guy didn't know who he was messing with.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

I bet you think this post is about you

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This post is about a person who is very special to me. Why is he special I hear you ask? Well, I will tell you.....


He is the kind of person that has a heart as pure as snow but never wears it on his sleeve. When he wants to he can charm anyone right off their feet and make them forget about the life around them. He doesn't expect anything from anyone, but will be extremely happy with what he receives. Yet, he wants to provide for the world and is striving to make it a better place.

When he talks, it is intelligently and with intense fervor. His dedication is profound, unlimited and unrelenting, a rare gem to be nourished. His masculinity is evident in his gruff exterior, which when he smiles, is replaced with a boyish charm, sure to melt the hardest of hearts.

This is a person who is definitely going places, and for that alone he deserves a lot of respect. He has surely earned mine.

I could go on...but I will not; for undoubtedly if he were to ever read this, he will get quite big headed on me.

Best Advice I Ever Got!

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If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:

To whom you speak
Of whom you speak

And how and what and where.
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*Written by my 8th grade teacher Samantha in my pink autograph notebook.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Assume The Position!!

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Movie: SECRETARY

Director: Steven Shainberg
Starring: James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal
Release Date: September 2002

Plot Outline: A young woman, recently released from a mental hospital, gets a job as a secretary to a demanding lawyer, where their employer-employee relationship turns into a sexual, sadomasochistic one.

(Check out the "READ MISS HOLLOWAY" clip)
p.s. This may be a clue as to Jassim&Tamara's upcoming activities ;)

This is a Post about Blogging

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I have read on some blogs about:

  1. how there are blog groups that exist etc.
  2. how people try and make themselves look good on their blogs, or show off etc.
  3. how a lot of comments are left to suck up etc.
  4. how some blogs are all lies and fake.
  5. how guys post on girls' blogs and vice versa for attention.

So I thought I would give my take on the above in reference to my blog and myself:

  1. I am not aware of any groups, I do not have an attention span that will allow me to read too deeply into other peoples blogs and their relationships with each other. I have the memory of a goldfish and thus hardly remember, which nick goes with which blog, goes with which post. In that light, I do not care for group thingys myself, but feel free to enlighten me as to which ones exist.
  2. I am myself. If I say good things about myself, then that is who I am. If you think I am vain, then you are damn right!
  3. At first, I was shocked about how nice everyone was. Never thought of it as sucking up though. I think everyone is just being nice. Nice is good, personally I prefer honesty though, and I try to be honest when I leave comments.
  4. I have never lied on my blog or other peoples. I truly believe in honesty. I do not see the need to lie, since I am not trying to impress anyone, I am merely writing my thoughts down. Some posts are for myself, some posts are for readers, either way, it is all 100% me.
  5. I leave comments on posts I find interesting, or on blogs of people I think are nice. I also try and leave comments on posts of people who commented on my blog. If I do not comment on your blog, it means I have nothing to say.

In summary: I am loving this blogging thing so far, since it has made me see life in a whole new way. I am more likely now to pay attention to things around me and appreciate them. My blog is a great outlet for my thoughts which I would usually have trouble sharing.

I feel like I am part of a club, with you my readers. A secret little world of mine that few know I exist in. Truly, I thank you for the love and support.

p.s. My posts are picked up by SAFATOO and not Safat.

Good Deed came back to Bite me in the Ass...Literally!!

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Warning: This is a rant. Feel free to ignore it.

2 friends both with sick daughters, and one who caught it herself. So what does Miya go and do? Visits them!!

Yes apparently this is meant to be a good deed, to visit the sick.

I THINK IT IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER!!!

Now I am sick. It crept upon me slowly then BAM!!

You have a hallucinating Miya screaming for God knows what in the middle of the night. (Fever makes you hallucinate people!)

Thankfully, the doctor who I think just left the 3ashoora celebration watchmacallit called back around 1 am. He was sweet enough to come to our house, where he was greeted by my family who all came to make sure I would be ok. I am thankful for that and made sure to thank them all.

So basically, I have gone from a person who wouldn't go anywhere near an injection due to a deep phobia, to a person whose ass can be used to sieve flour.

Why the hell do I keep getting sick!?!? I eat healthy, I am healthy, I exercise, I am not 'that' stressed.
I got the answer yesterday, when my mum told me how she used to shove antibiotics down my throat all the time when I was young.


So basically, my immunity system is shot! SHIT!

I'm sick of being sick!

Lesson of the day: Do not give your kids antibiotics unless neccassary.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Trapped by Dogma

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Part of a brilliant speech by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple & Pixar at the commencement address at Stanford University. Personal and an incredible message.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other
people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out
your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want
to become. Everything else is secondary."


Personal Opinion: I think in Kuwait we are extremely trapped by dogma. Rules and regulations put into our place by our ancestors for various reasons. Some deserve the respect we give them, some are just outdated ideas that need to be rejected and removed from our society. This dogma will not be changed until people such as YOU and I refuse to be trapped by it, and instead stand up to our beliefs that actually make sense. Therefore, please next time you feel yourself trapped, break through the barriers and make a change. Every person and every step counts.

* MiYa the preacher at your service :P

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Damn! I could spread you on a cracker! Yum.

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Got tagged again by Beyond q8iya. I did this tag before. It says perfect lover. To me 'lover' is someone you make love to, which is much more juicy than what everyone has been describing, and therefore, this time, I will answer with the 'juicy' version of my perfect lover.
  1. Taller than me, but not too tall - so we 'fit'.
  2. Handsome face, with a cheeky smile and naughty eyes - to attract me.
  3. Tanned & smooth skin all over. I have an OCD against hair - the smoother the more lickable.
  4. Muscular body, but not big built, think swimmer's body - so I can trace the outlines with my fingers.
  5. Nice hands - e7m ...to be able to handle me.
  6. High IQ - the brain is the most sexual organ.
  7. Great Hygiene - nothing more yucky than stinky smells.
  8. Badboy Attitude - to have his way with me!

A mixture of both this tag and the last one would describe my perfect husband. And before your filthy minds start wondering....

No I do NOT have a lover, nor am I looking for one!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Wanna B my V??

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Valentines Day is looming, reminding me loud and clear of my status.

First of all, for those of you who don't know, I am single. I have also been single for a while, and it is a conscious decision. The reasons for that decision are:


  1. I needed time to myself.
  2. I wanted to spend time figuring out exactly what I wanted from a significant other.
  3. I wanted to work on Miya, my physical and emotional self.
  4. I was sick of men.
  5. I wanted to give myself the freedom to meet different people and socialize.

What I can say, is that I did not think I would be single for as long as I have been. Since I have always loved the comfort of a relationship*. But while working on the above points I have found that I really truly am enjoying my single life and have learnt a lot of new things about myself and life. Some things are:

- I am able to depend on myself completely with nobody to help me make decisions, or console me when I have a problem.

- I have more time and energy for friendships. In fact, I made many many new friends and developed deeper relationships with the friends that I had, making me appreciate friendship much much more than I used to.

- I used to expect too much from my friends, and now take disappointments caused by them with a grain of salt. Everyone is different.

- The better care you take care of your body, the more it will take care of your mind.

- If you respect yourself in your actions and spoken words, people will be forced to respect you too.

- Neither money nor good looks nor a badboy nor a family name, are enough for me in a person. I need a real man with intelligence and character. Mama's boys are out too.

- I have also learnt that no matter how happy you are in your single life, sometimes you need a special someone to give you a hug and let you know everything is ok. A good alternative I have found is, your friends, although they're not as fulfilling.

So anyway, I am happy with my progress, I now know exactly what I want in my significant other and I think I am ready emotionally to start the final relationship of my life, once I meet the right person.

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(What prompted me to finally finish writing this post, was the looming decision I have to make. I was sitting there thinking about my dilemma and grabbed the pretty notebook, which I have had for over 2 years and never used cause it is was just too damn pretty, and found the only note I ever wrote there. It was for a plan for a valentines day long gone and never put into practice. I thought I would share it with you and maybe one of you can enjoy it :)

Bean bag

Hershey Kisses

Fireworks

Drinks

Blanket

To be enjoyed together at the end of sunset on a balcony.

HAPPY PLANNING PEOPLE !!!

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*To me a relationship should last a maximum of 4 months before an engagement is necessary. By engagement I mean, the guy has to ask the girls family for her hand in marriage. Why do I think that? Because it is respectful for the girl and the family to do so.

I do not agree with Gf/Bf relationships that last years on end due to stupid excuses, then break up over a silly fight. 4 months is more than enough to tell if you want to marry the other person. After that, you get engaged and can spend a few more months or even years getting to know each other better, with your families consent. That way you respect yourself, your families and your significant others.

Sooner or Later....

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FUCK IT! I'm Staying Put!!!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Tagged AGAIN

Tagged by Don_Veto

Four Jobs I've Had:
  1. The one I have now
  2. The one I had before
  3. The one where I did volunteer work
  4. The one where I trained
Four Movies I can watch Over and Over:
  1. Chocolat
  2. Original Sin
  3. Kill Bill (both)
  4. Cruel Intentions

Four Places I have lived:

  1. Kuwait
  2. UK
  3. US
  4. Kuwait

Four TV shows I LOVE:

  1. FRIENDS!
  2. Will&Grace
  3. That 70's Show
  4. Survivor
  5. 24 :P

Four Places I've Vacationed: I've been to most of the world apart from South Asia. So I will put the places I feel at home in or liked.

  1. London
  2. Switzerland
  3. Dubai
  4. Venice

Four of My Favorite Dishes:

  1. Entrecote
  2. Veal with mushrooms
  3. Mussels in cream sauce
  4. Big brownie sundae at Applebees :P

Four Sites I visit Daily:

  1. Yahoo News
  2. Safat/Safatoo
  3. Hotmail
  4. Tech sites

And since I think that this is the crappiest tag I have ever done. I will not tag any1. Yes purg and DV, I have repented (for the time being :P)

Friday, February 03, 2006

Seven Wonders of Miyafushi

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Tagged by Photoflow

7 things to do before I die:

-Swim with dolphins.
-Make a pot using fresh clay and that spinning thing.
-Design my own line of clothing.
-Do hij.
-Open a child help center.
-Spend a year travelling with the man I love, christening each country.
-Please my parents.

7 things I cannot do:

-Raise one eyebrow only.
-Hide my feelings.
-Make the bed.
-Concentrate on something that does not interest me.
-Make a pretty template for this blog.
-Stop dancing for life.
-Refuse chocolate.

7 things I say:

-Bite me!
-Ay shay!
-Bloody hell!
-Shit!
-Way3a!
-Kiss my ass
-Dumbass

7 books I loved:

-Memoirs of a Geisha
-Flowers in the attic
-Gone with the wind
-My piano lessons book from when I was a kid
-The one with the twins
-The one with the love story
-The one that looks like a magazine and is called cosmopolitan.

7 movies I loved:

-Original Sin
-Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
-The 5th Element
-Ice age
-Anything Fatin 7amama
-Cruel Intentions
-Nothing to lose

7 things that attract me:

-Hot people
-Floppy hair
-6 packs
-Winks
-Good manners and etiquette
-An 'I don't give a shit' attitude
-Accents, even if fake :P

7 people I want to tag:

-The Krispie Dixie
-The Solar Alchemist
-Closet Diva
-Geo
-7tenths
-Jackie
-Don_Veto


THE END.

The Devil In Me

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-Tagged by Photoflow and The Krispy Dixie.

(Task is to draw your inner demon using microsoft PAINT program.)




I tag, Purgatory72 and Entrepreneur

I would comment on the picture, but I want your thoughts first.

What comes to mind when you look at it??

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Vacation Day 4

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THE SCENE: (Actually this was from day 3 but I forgot to add it to that post) I am standing at the electronics store haggling with the guy over the camera, when my friend comes in and surprises me. I move closer to him to whisper about the price and I catch him recoiling slightly. The smell wafting up from between us hits my nostrils...

Me: "Can you smell it?"
Him: "Is that you???"
Me: "Umm....yeah!"
Him: "What the hell is that smell?"
Me: "Is it THAT bad??? Is it really strong??"
Him: "Smells like Vicks!!"
Me (pulling up my jeans to show him the culprit): "It's the muscle pain plasters. I have 10 of them stuck over my feet and legs!! Damn the smell is making me dizzy!!"
Him (trying to look understanding): "Yeah it is kinda strong"
Me: "Well fuckit, let people suffocate from my vicksy stench, as long as I can walk!"

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THE SCENE: While paying at a cigar store. A cute, black, fat french teenage kid and his pal come over to the counter.

Kid: "Eff I givesa herr zee monay, Shee can pay forr mee, no?"
Clerk: "No"
Kid: "Whyyyyy? See see, I gives her zee monay, and shee buy forr me!"

Of course, I looked to see what was in his hand and thought to myself how optimistic this kid was to think that I would be buying him stuff which he should'nt be buying. The kid was getting agitated and the clerk seemed as amused as I was.

Kid (waving some money): "You take zis monay! You pay zis!"
Me (Pointing at the packet): "What is this?"
Clerk: "This is tobacco."
Me: "OH NO NO NO!! C'est pas bien pour toi!!" I exclaimed in perfect french :P
Kid (grudgingly): Oui, c'est pas bien.
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I paid and left thinking to myself, that I will always remember the first time I told off a kid in french. And no I am not a smoker.
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THE SCENE: Chatting with my mum about my day.
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Me: "Yuma wayid istanast ilyom, o ta3araft 3ala wa7id ajnaby"
Mum: "Laaa? Khosh wallah, ishlowna? Yinfa3lich?"
Me: "Huh? Yumma ana bes kalamta deegeegtain"
Mum: "Eee mo intay yabeelich wa7id ajnaby 3ashan iysayrich, intay ma yabeelich wa7id 3araby"
Me: "Yumma il7yn oboy ma ritha 3an hathak, ra7 yirtha 3an hatha?!"
Mum: "Ee ee yirtha"
Me: "Ba3dain yuma il rayal shayib kubir uboy! Shasawy fee?"
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I learnt 2 lessons from that conversation. The first was to never mention ANY man to my mum. Although she seems to want me to have a relationship and has thrown caution to the wind. Lesson 2 is, whereas I grew up with my dad wanting me to marry a saudi prince and my mum wanting me to marry an american, they now both agree that I should marry anything with a penis at this age.
Yes I felt very special :) NOT

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THE SCENE: It was my last night there, and I was finally going clubbing (my favorite pastime is to dance). I desperately wanted to try out my new salsa moves so I had donned a salsa outfit, with the pretty dress, flower in my hair, the works. My friend and I finally arrived at the salsa bar, late but just in time to see the musicians leave. Granted I was not pleased and sat there pissed as the DJ played some lame tunes. Of course my friend was definately a wet blanket who refused to dance until I nagged like crazy, and couldn't dance anyway. So being MiYaFuSHi I crossed the dancefloor, went up to the DJ and demanded:
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Me: "Hello"
DJ: "Helooooo there!"
Me: " I want you to play some salsa. I also want you to find me a salsa dance partner"
DJ (all excited): "Me Me! I will dance with you!"
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I gave him a look. Which I think he took to mean as no way in hell, and then called over a big guy I had seen excitedly dancing as we walked in. I introduced myself and explained that I wanted to dance salsa with him. He introduced himself and we started to dance to the music. Which was MERENGUE! Not SALSA! Dumbass DJ.
Anyways, it was fun, and a few songs later something similar to salsa came on and damned if I didnt run across the room to grab my dance partner for a spin. And no people I was not drunk.
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THE SCENE: We had moved onto the next club which had a very long waiting queue. The night was close to ending and there were 3 very large bodyguards standing there, with people all around them trying to get in. I tried to get us in with one, and he told us to get to the end of the line, then a brawl broke out, with lots of punching etc. Now I REALLY wanted to get in :P
So I go up to the fuming bodyguard who was still shouting at some guy and telling everyone to get back in line, and smile:
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Me: "Excuse me" (Flutter flutter eyelashes)
Him: "Yes?"
Me: "I want to go in" (Give flash of cleavage)
Him: "You have to stand in line"
Me: "But I want to go in now" (whining a little)
Him: "But you have a guy with you"
Me: "Keep the guy, I wanna go in!"
Him: "LOL"
Me: "No really, it is my last night here and it is nearly over" (Put on cute baby face)
Him: "Hmm, ok go in quickly, both of you"
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And that ladies and gentleman, is how you get into a packed club. Of course I left 5 mins after getting in since there wasnt even space to stand. Bes aham shay iny balaght shafy!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

What's Wrong with this Picture??

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