Chicken Nugget Central

For those who have experienced laughing alone at Kuwait cinema.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Poker anyone??

.
My mum told me about a woman who wanted to see me for her son. I of course as usual told her there will be no seeing unless the dude comes along too. Shino ana furja?? (Maskeena my mum, I need to give her something.)
Anyways, the woman came with the dude, who I knew from the first glance I would no way in hell marry. However, I find it interesting to have conversations with these guys. I like to pick their brain as to what they think marriage is about. Also the bullshit they come up with trying to make a good impression is hilarious.


The scene: We are all sitting in one large L shaped living room, chatting away, when my mum tells the dude that he may sit with me at the other side of the room, so we may talk '3ala ra7atna'. Here are some tidbits of conversation:

Him: Ana a7ib il shi3ir, a7ib ag3ad o asra7 o afakir. O a3shag shay isma gahwa. Yimkin ashrab 3ishreen koob gahwa bil yom!
Me: Ay no3 gahwa?
Him: Turkiya
Me: Hmmm.... *smile* ( since I am picturing him with his notebook, in his own little world in the basement of our home, ignoring me and daydreaming while scribbling away)
Him: Ee o a7ib'ha min eedich intay.
Me: E inshallah lysh la'. (I said this while doing the calculation of 20 cups x 15 mins per cup = 5 hours. Poor dude thinks I am gonna spend 5 hours of my life walking up and down the stairs of the basement making him coffee while he writes poetry. Yes that IS what I want from my life! Idiot!)

So here basically what he is saying, is that he wants to do his own thing, while I of course as a woman have no life other than to please his whims, and that he wants to write poetry while staring deep into my eyes, in between me getting him cups of coffee of course.

-------------------

Him: 3indich sadeegat?
Me: Ee akeed (had to bite my tongue from saying asdiga ba3ad)
Him: Ee bes ana 3indy shar6, sadeegatich ma itkalmeenhum ila min il 5-7. Ghayra aby wagtich iykoon lee
Me: Inshallah khayr (while trying not to laugh in his face)

From this request I got that he thinks as a 'simple' woman, I would in no way be able to define for myself how to take care of my man, and need to have rules in place to keep me in check. You would think I had accepted to marry the idiot!

-------------------

Me: 3indik mani3 ina ni6la3 ka majmoo3a?
Him: Ishlown ya3ny?
Me: Mathalan, ana ma3ak, ma3a sadeegik o murta, inroo7 ba7ar mathalan
Him: Lysh? Ana awadeech kil mukan.
Me: E bes 3ashan itkoon jam3a
Him: La mala da3y
Me: E bes awnas itha sirna yam3a
Him: La la mala da3y
Me: ZAIN BALA NABY NIL3AB KOUT BU 4!?!?

Yes I actually said those exact words. Need I say more?

31 Comments:

  • At February 26, 2006 11:23 AM, Blogger MSB said…

    hilarious! zain ma rad 3laich o gal kout bu 2 awnas!

    (aslan eshfeech, u wont have time to play kout between making coffee and letting him gaze into ur eyes to write poetry! sheeesh, eshfeech ma etfehmin?! no wonder he has to strict ur talk time btwn 5-7!! ift)

    :)

    Allah Esa3dech!

     
  • At February 26, 2006 12:19 PM, Blogger Brava Valentia said…

    why did you even waste your time with that creep !

     
  • At February 26, 2006 1:12 PM, Blogger Beyond Q8iya said…

    sounds like a creep.. i got goosebumps from the part where he says "gahwa min eedech" ewwwwww.. yucky.. trying to hard..

    poor u for having to go through that.. u deserve to fall in love and be with someone who chalenges u.. hope u get that.. g'luck

     
  • At February 26, 2006 1:50 PM, Blogger Closet Diva said…

    miya,
    Hatha killish may looglich. I suggest you fall in love.

    Laa ow gilteela ba7ar ba3ad?
    lol

     
  • At February 26, 2006 2:25 PM, Blogger Tooomz said…

    I don't see what the problem is. He sounded like the perfect guy.

     
  • At February 26, 2006 2:33 PM, Blogger D said…

    LOL hilarious. 3afya 3laich jabalteeh aslan

     
  • At February 26, 2006 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Weird. In the first visit both act as he is not coming to propose, coming only to say hi and meet her. When he is sure that he wants her, he proposes and now its her time to say yes or no. if she says yes, he comes again and talk. After both parties feel fine about each others, he proposes.

     
  • At February 26, 2006 4:06 PM, Blogger i_live_in_Q8 said…

    Laysa Kol Ma Yo3raf YoQaL :/


    As it was Published anyway... I'd Like to say that you did the right thing!!!!! But comeon! Kout bo4? www.koutbo6.com oo fokkay 3omrich :)

     
  • At February 26, 2006 5:30 PM, Blogger Delicately Realistic said…

    Waaaaaaaaaaaay baaaaa6ny!
    La la ma asaaaadig! Shino 5-7?! Is he serious? There is a special time to talk to friends???
    And whats with the a7ib ag3ad o asra7?
    Do people daydream intentionally these days? Its like ok, its 3.03 now, time to daydream a little before Days of Our Lives starts?!!?

     
  • At February 26, 2006 7:02 PM, Blogger cozy said…

    delicately realistic ee hathee malat ag3ad asra7 ebroo7a yabeelha ga3da heheheh hatha yabeellla baar or ghanam ethaher ...bs overall 7aram maskeen goolaw el7emdelah bs ! kelokom warakom zawaj o ma tadroon shbeyeekom :)

     
  • At February 26, 2006 7:46 PM, Blogger ZinZinQ8 said…

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL abeihh ur cracked me up girrl thats hilarious!!!!

    Bass tabeen il sujj! kisar 5a6ri il sara7a. kalaitee bigshoora fgayyer. Hatha wuhwa yaayy mijdim ya3ni alla y3een lo he's just checking you out oo moo mit2akid bya5thich wila la2. 3al 3umoom I'm glad that you were civil oo ma cha7attee min awal ma gal "a7ib asra7" AND you managed to refrain from saying "al3an abook isra7 ibaitkum" Bass walla yaksir il 5a6ir. LOOOl tha7akteeni

    Im with Cozy though. Bass bala 3yaab bachir iyeena wa7id yigool ana a7ib ag3ad broo7i wajarib hdoom ummi istaghfalla alla ykafeena il shar.

     
  • At February 26, 2006 8:50 PM, Blogger Papillona ® said…

    la la la laaaa mu sidj mu sidj!!
    Awal shey lo ana mokanich kint ra7 abi6'ha the7ik min awal ma gal "a7ibha min eedich intay". I mean.. give me a break! a3arfik it3arifni???

    ya kerhi..

     
  • At February 26, 2006 9:56 PM, Blogger Baroque said…

    thanx for making me laugh ;)
    hehe maskeen hatha.. i never knew ako0 socially insane people out there.. lo0o0l a7la shay yabych itkalmeen ur friends from 5-7 ;P and the gahwa/friends gathering thing was hillarious!

    maskeen..

    did someone hit him on the head while he was a child or what?

    intay min wayn yi6li3oonlich hal ashkaaaal? ;P

     
  • At February 26, 2006 10:52 PM, Blogger Entrepreneur said…

    hehehe im loving it. Hilarious. Cant believe i didnt read this earlier in the day...

    this guy is hilarious, i wish you had taken a pic of him. What the hell, where do these ppl come from?

    This weekend is all becoming clearer to me now :P

     
  • At February 26, 2006 11:00 PM, Blogger Purgatory said…

    am wondering how your mom thought this guy would even fit you, unless she has other ideas about her daughter.

     
  • At February 27, 2006 12:56 AM, Blogger Jacqui said…

    Before I even read the dialogue any further that is hehe I was like ughhhhh I DON'T THINK SO! Hehehhe but it was truly hilarious! :r

     
  • At February 27, 2006 7:35 AM, Blogger xposed said…

    I cant believe that he actually said those things on the first day...

    i mean like "run 4 yer life girl"

    (a7ib el gahwa men eedich) PLEASE SPARE ME!!!!!

     
  • At February 27, 2006 9:54 AM, Blogger mosan mosan said…

    Sorry to say what a loser

    What kind of a person that the 1st thing he mentions is (gahwa)? What he is trying to prove ? he sounds like a downer and he will drag you down with him … no gathering and no nothing just coffee …

    Good post is it fiction?

     
  • At February 27, 2006 11:10 AM, Blogger DiiGMaa said…

    Looooooooool !!!

     
  • At February 27, 2006 12:59 PM, Blogger The Don ® said…

    Here is a simple way for you to determine whether or not you should give him the time of your day or not, as soon as they enter your house and as soon as you go to sit with him on the corner excuse your self, and blast a Salsa song, and walk in and tell him, yallah lead.. if he has this shock on his face and starts to sweat, out the door he goes.. if he starts to twirl you, then you sit after couple of songs, and listen to all the ana asra7 o ashrab gahwa.. bit.. lol

    but over all, what great material you're getting for your blog..

     
  • At February 27, 2006 1:54 PM, Blogger mosan mosan said…

    And Don
    Not to forget the sexy outfit to go with song and the heels

     
  • At February 27, 2006 4:53 PM, Blogger Princess Puzzle said…

    hahahay! obay intay whats up with the looser attraction thing?

    seriously do you have a "i love losers" stamp on your face..?

    u seem so cool, why do all those imbicils approach u?

     
  • At February 28, 2006 12:49 AM, Anonymous bint il q8 said…

    loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool exactly! TA3JIBEEENI!

     
  • At February 28, 2006 12:00 PM, Blogger The Solar Alchemist said…

    what kind of guys are comming for you?
    are they brain dead or something?
    the guy who put the time limit for when you can and can't talk to your freinds. you should have asked him if he intends to spend the whole week with you and not go out? see how he likes it!

     
  • At February 28, 2006 5:35 PM, Blogger NuNu™ said…

    Wai3!! =/

     
  • At March 02, 2006 10:44 AM, Blogger MissCosmoKuwait said…

    LOL!!! That was way too funny girl!

    Min awalha 3enda rules...eewww...shino madrisah??!!!

    I once heard a story of a girl that was subjected to the same thing...but the parents had left them by themselves and the guy farted and said...eshrayich bel ree7a...tigdereen tit3awadain 3alaiha?"..

    When I heard that story...that's when I made up my mind that I'd never subject myself to such a mawqif...sorry..but screw marriage if I gotta smell his fart for him!...

    sorry this was gross...but that was one story I could never forget!

     
  • At March 02, 2006 11:21 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    Msb: I think he said nil3ab 'Hend' a7san

    MC: To please my mum

    BQ: Thanks 7abooba, that’s so sweet. I hope I find him too:)

    CD: Daweerly wa7id yiswa, and I will gladly fall in love :D

    toomz: I will give him your number

    d: Now where the hell is my medal??

    anon: We know that. HE does not I guess.

    Long nick: I was making a point.

    DR: You should have heard the parts about sitting at the beach to 'think'.

    cozy: I think I would rather stay single than marry such a person. 7amdila 3ala kil 7al.

    Zin: Igthib maynoonik, la iyeek ayan mina :P
    I am always civil when talking, my mind though is not.

    Pap:I think he thought the grin on my face was of happiness! LOL!

    Charisma: MADRY! AHH! :<
    Yala, as they say, opposites attract :P

    Entre: I will ask the next guy to strike a pose, just for u.

    Purg: My mum had not met him or his mother before.

    jackie: 7edda UGH!

    xposed: Maskeen, romancy ya3ny :P

    Mosan: Nope it is all fact. Fathya ana :P

    Dig: LOL :P

    The don: Lol, are u saying I should keep meeting such people to keep you guys entertained?
    One thing I want in my future husband is for him to be a dancer!

    PP: The great guys think I am out of their league and the weirdo's have nothing to lose. Shasawy! :P
    At least thats my optimistic twist on it!

    Bnt: Mashkoora :)

    The SA: I think it would be expected of me to not ask 'questions'

    Nunu: 7edda

    Miss: ARE YOU SERIOUS?? What did she do??
    I would so flip on his ass if he did that!

     
  • At March 06, 2006 8:57 AM, Blogger The Krispy Dixie said…

    hahahahahahaha

    ahem shay kout bu 4!!! You are a riot!! :D

    P.S. The dude is nuts and sooooo not good enough for you! :D

     
  • At March 16, 2006 10:46 PM, Blogger *-fwai7-* said…

    LOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!
    oh my God i havent laughed this loud in ages HAHAHA!! jeez is this guy forreal?!

     
  • At March 16, 2006 11:04 PM, Blogger Desert Girl said…

    Tooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!

    There are a gazillion ways to phuck with guys like this:

    You should just ask him how many coffee-making/delivering maids he plans to get you - right after the wedding. Tell him you can't do it because you'll be at the salon to look pretty for HIM. You might break a nail. LOL

    You should draw up your own "Due Diligence/Risk Analysis" and have check-boxes and then provide him with his rating.

    Rawshack tests. (Psychological analysis of shape flash cards).

    I also like Don's suggestion.

    You go girl! Many good luck wishes.

     
  • At March 20, 2006 7:29 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    the KD: Thanks babe :D

    fwai7: Glad I gave you a laugh. If you think he is bad, you should have seen his mum :P

    desert girl: WOW! Those are some ideas! Too much work for me though :P

     

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