Chicken Nugget Central

For those who have experienced laughing alone at Kuwait cinema.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Vacation Day 4

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THE SCENE: (Actually this was from day 3 but I forgot to add it to that post) I am standing at the electronics store haggling with the guy over the camera, when my friend comes in and surprises me. I move closer to him to whisper about the price and I catch him recoiling slightly. The smell wafting up from between us hits my nostrils...

Me: "Can you smell it?"
Him: "Is that you???"
Me: "Umm....yeah!"
Him: "What the hell is that smell?"
Me: "Is it THAT bad??? Is it really strong??"
Him: "Smells like Vicks!!"
Me (pulling up my jeans to show him the culprit): "It's the muscle pain plasters. I have 10 of them stuck over my feet and legs!! Damn the smell is making me dizzy!!"
Him (trying to look understanding): "Yeah it is kinda strong"
Me: "Well fuckit, let people suffocate from my vicksy stench, as long as I can walk!"

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THE SCENE: While paying at a cigar store. A cute, black, fat french teenage kid and his pal come over to the counter.

Kid: "Eff I givesa herr zee monay, Shee can pay forr mee, no?"
Clerk: "No"
Kid: "Whyyyyy? See see, I gives her zee monay, and shee buy forr me!"

Of course, I looked to see what was in his hand and thought to myself how optimistic this kid was to think that I would be buying him stuff which he should'nt be buying. The kid was getting agitated and the clerk seemed as amused as I was.

Kid (waving some money): "You take zis monay! You pay zis!"
Me (Pointing at the packet): "What is this?"
Clerk: "This is tobacco."
Me: "OH NO NO NO!! C'est pas bien pour toi!!" I exclaimed in perfect french :P
Kid (grudgingly): Oui, c'est pas bien.
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I paid and left thinking to myself, that I will always remember the first time I told off a kid in french. And no I am not a smoker.
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THE SCENE: Chatting with my mum about my day.
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Me: "Yuma wayid istanast ilyom, o ta3araft 3ala wa7id ajnaby"
Mum: "Laaa? Khosh wallah, ishlowna? Yinfa3lich?"
Me: "Huh? Yumma ana bes kalamta deegeegtain"
Mum: "Eee mo intay yabeelich wa7id ajnaby 3ashan iysayrich, intay ma yabeelich wa7id 3araby"
Me: "Yumma il7yn oboy ma ritha 3an hathak, ra7 yirtha 3an hatha?!"
Mum: "Ee ee yirtha"
Me: "Ba3dain yuma il rayal shayib kubir uboy! Shasawy fee?"
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I learnt 2 lessons from that conversation. The first was to never mention ANY man to my mum. Although she seems to want me to have a relationship and has thrown caution to the wind. Lesson 2 is, whereas I grew up with my dad wanting me to marry a saudi prince and my mum wanting me to marry an american, they now both agree that I should marry anything with a penis at this age.
Yes I felt very special :) NOT

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THE SCENE: It was my last night there, and I was finally going clubbing (my favorite pastime is to dance). I desperately wanted to try out my new salsa moves so I had donned a salsa outfit, with the pretty dress, flower in my hair, the works. My friend and I finally arrived at the salsa bar, late but just in time to see the musicians leave. Granted I was not pleased and sat there pissed as the DJ played some lame tunes. Of course my friend was definately a wet blanket who refused to dance until I nagged like crazy, and couldn't dance anyway. So being MiYaFuSHi I crossed the dancefloor, went up to the DJ and demanded:
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Me: "Hello"
DJ: "Helooooo there!"
Me: " I want you to play some salsa. I also want you to find me a salsa dance partner"
DJ (all excited): "Me Me! I will dance with you!"
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I gave him a look. Which I think he took to mean as no way in hell, and then called over a big guy I had seen excitedly dancing as we walked in. I introduced myself and explained that I wanted to dance salsa with him. He introduced himself and we started to dance to the music. Which was MERENGUE! Not SALSA! Dumbass DJ.
Anyways, it was fun, and a few songs later something similar to salsa came on and damned if I didnt run across the room to grab my dance partner for a spin. And no people I was not drunk.
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THE SCENE: We had moved onto the next club which had a very long waiting queue. The night was close to ending and there were 3 very large bodyguards standing there, with people all around them trying to get in. I tried to get us in with one, and he told us to get to the end of the line, then a brawl broke out, with lots of punching etc. Now I REALLY wanted to get in :P
So I go up to the fuming bodyguard who was still shouting at some guy and telling everyone to get back in line, and smile:
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Me: "Excuse me" (Flutter flutter eyelashes)
Him: "Yes?"
Me: "I want to go in" (Give flash of cleavage)
Him: "You have to stand in line"
Me: "But I want to go in now" (whining a little)
Him: "But you have a guy with you"
Me: "Keep the guy, I wanna go in!"
Him: "LOL"
Me: "No really, it is my last night here and it is nearly over" (Put on cute baby face)
Him: "Hmm, ok go in quickly, both of you"
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And that ladies and gentleman, is how you get into a packed club. Of course I left 5 mins after getting in since there wasnt even space to stand. Bes aham shay iny balaght shafy!

14 Comments:

  • At February 02, 2006 4:29 PM, Blogger Entrepreneur said…

    hehehe classic material! I like it...

    Like the events and the writing style. So entertainingly put... :) Hmmmm...Im thinking of getting a job as a bouncer now.

     
  • At February 02, 2006 5:19 PM, Blogger The Solar Alchemist said…

    WOW now more than ever i hate the fact that i'm stuck in kuwait :-(

     
  • At February 02, 2006 10:44 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    Entre: Thank you entre. That is good to know. You say you want to be a bouncer, are you a big guy? :p

    Solar: You can have just as much fun in q8 as outside babe. (well nearly) provided you have funky up for anything friends. Problem is people in kuwait are lazy ass wet blankets who just wanna bitch and moan.

     
  • At February 02, 2006 11:01 PM, Blogger jashanmal said…

    Maan! thats one chicekny nuggety centraly lifestyle lol

     
  • At February 03, 2006 12:55 AM, Blogger SpiKeY said…

    Thats an interestig vacation hehe...well firstly u made me miss clubbin....those hip hop dancers everywhere and just havin a blast

    and bout havin fun in q8...well u r rite..buuut....mostly the people who u can have fun with here are kids ... if u know any older people hook me up yeah :P....

    hope u enjoyed your vacation :)

     
  • At February 03, 2006 9:28 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    jashanmal: Only way to go ;)

    spikey: You are only 20! what the hell are you on about?? Thanks babe.

     
  • At February 03, 2006 10:38 PM, Blogger SpiKeY said…

    Hehe well am 21 next week :)..but when i said kids i meant 15 - 16 year olds :P...and the older people i meant 20 and above :P....

     
  • At February 03, 2006 10:41 PM, Blogger SpiKeY said…

    PS: its kinnda hard to find gurls in kuwait who are open minded and they 21 or above yeah?

     
  • At February 04, 2006 4:34 AM, Blogger Entrepreneur said…

    open minded, i think spikey is referring to chicks that drink and dont mind casual sex, the usual definition of open minded in kuwait...

    dude... it aint gonna land in ure lap...

     
  • At February 05, 2006 12:50 AM, Blogger SpiKeY said…

    Entrepreneur:

    Well first u shouldnt judge me like that... Coz before anything i know My religion and i know god and i know my limits..

    secondly am not your typical kuwaiti that all he thinks about is sex and drink ..el7amdilla i dont do both ..I've seen life when i studied abroad but i didnt go there and started drinking and stuff but i had mixed friends who i went out with without people lookin at me or talkin bout me

    when i mean OPEN MINDED i mean as in go out with guys normally with no thinking bout hooking up and stuff...just have fun AS FRIENDS..

    you shouldnt judge me coz the usual meaning of open minded is sex and drink...coz it aint ..check your dictionary again

    cheeerz

     
  • At February 05, 2006 3:17 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    Spikey: Umm, it is difficult to find true. And in entre's defense, your comment can easily be misunderstood.
    Piece of advice though, you don't need to explain yourself to people, because you don't owe them anything. Hope you understand what I mean.
    If you want to meet people, try doing activities.

    Entre:Tut tut tut :P What is YOUR definition of open minded?

     
  • At February 05, 2006 9:33 PM, Blogger SpiKeY said…

    miyafushi: i know i shouldnt its just i dont want people to think of me in the wrong way . just like a self defence thing. am not hating or anything just explaining. ow sorry if my comment is missunderstood. i just wanted to explain what open minded is to me . so no offence entrepreneur :)

     
  • At February 06, 2006 12:59 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    Spikey, my point is, if you want my advice, you should NOT care.

     
  • At February 07, 2006 12:18 AM, Blogger SpiKeY said…

    Ok MiyaFushi... i wount care anymore
    :)

     

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