Vacation Day 4

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THE SCENE: (Actually this was from day 3 but I forgot to add it to that post) I am standing at the electronics store haggling with the guy over the camera, when my friend comes in and surprises me. I move closer to him to whisper about the price and I catch him recoiling slightly. The smell wafting up from between us hits my nostrils...

Me: "Can you smell it?"
Him: "Is that you???"
Me: "Umm....yeah!"
Him: "What the hell is that smell?"
Me: "Is it THAT bad??? Is it really strong??"
Him: "Smells like Vicks!!"
Me (pulling up my jeans to show him the culprit): "It's the muscle pain plasters. I have 10 of them stuck over my feet and legs!! Damn the smell is making me dizzy!!"
Him (trying to look understanding): "Yeah it is kinda strong"
Me: "Well fuckit, let people suffocate from my vicksy stench, as long as I can walk!"

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THE SCENE: While paying at a cigar store. A cute, black, fat french teenage kid and his pal come over to the counter.

Kid: "Eff I givesa herr zee monay, Shee can pay forr mee, no?"
Clerk: "No"
Kid: "Whyyyyy? See see, I gives her zee monay, and shee buy forr me!"

Of course, I looked to see what was in his hand and thought to myself how optimistic this kid was to think that I would be buying him stuff which he should'nt be buying. The kid was getting agitated and the clerk seemed as amused as I was.

Kid (waving some money): "You take zis monay! You pay zis!"

Me (Pointing at the packet): "What is this?"

Clerk: "This is tobacco."

Me: "OH NO NO NO!! C'est pas bien pour toi!!" I exclaimed in perfect french :P

Kid (grudgingly): Oui, c'est pas bien.

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I paid and left thinking to myself, that I will always remember the first time I told off a kid in french. And no I am not a smoker.

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THE SCENE: Chatting with my mum about my day.

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Me: "Yuma wayid istanast ilyom, o ta3araft 3ala wa7id ajnaby"

Mum: "Laaa? Khosh wallah, ishlowna? Yinfa3lich?"

Me: "Huh? Yumma ana bes kalamta deegeegtain"

Mum: "Eee mo intay yabeelich wa7id ajnaby 3ashan iysayrich, intay ma yabeelich wa7id 3araby"

Me: "Yumma il7yn oboy ma ritha 3an hathak, ra7 yirtha 3an hatha?!"

Mum: "Ee ee yirtha"

Me: "Ba3dain yuma il rayal shayib kubir uboy! Shasawy fee?"

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I learnt 2 lessons from that conversation. The first was to never mention ANY man to my mum. Although she seems to want me to have a relationship and has thrown caution to the wind. Lesson 2 is, whereas I grew up with my dad wanting me to marry a saudi prince and my mum wanting me to marry an american, they now both agree that I should marry anything with a penis at this age.

Yes I felt very special :) NOT

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THE SCENE: It was my last night there, and I was finally going clubbing (my favorite pastime is to dance). I desperately wanted to try out my new salsa moves so I had donned a salsa outfit, with the pretty dress, flower in my hair, the works. My friend and I finally arrived at the salsa bar, late but just in time to see the musicians leave. Granted I was not pleased and sat there pissed as the DJ played some lame tunes. Of course my friend was definately a wet blanket who refused to dance until I nagged like crazy, and couldn't dance anyway. So being MiYaFuSHi I crossed the dancefloor, went up to the DJ and demanded:

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Me: "Hello"

DJ: "Helooooo there!"

Me: " I want you to play some salsa. I also want you to find me a salsa dance partner"

DJ (all excited): "Me Me! I will dance with you!"

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I gave him a look. Which I think he took to mean as no way in hell, and then called over a big guy I had seen excitedly dancing as we walked in. I introduced myself and explained that I wanted to dance salsa with him. He introduced himself and we started to dance to the music. Which was MERENGUE! Not SALSA! Dumbass DJ.

Anyways, it was fun, and a few songs later something similar to salsa came on and damned if I didnt run across the room to grab my dance partner for a spin. And no people I was not drunk.

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THE SCENE: We had moved onto the next club which had a very long waiting queue. The night was close to ending and there were 3 very large bodyguards standing there, with people all around them trying to get in. I tried to get us in with one, and he told us to get to the end of the line, then a brawl broke out, with lots of punching etc. Now I REALLY wanted to get in :P

So I go up to the fuming bodyguard who was still shouting at some guy and telling everyone to get back in line, and smile:

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Me: "Excuse me" (Flutter flutter eyelashes)

Him: "Yes?"

Me: "I want to go in" (Give flash of cleavage)

Him: "You have to stand in line"

Me: "But I want to go in now" (whining a little)

Him: "But you have a guy with you"

Me: "Keep the guy, I wanna go in!"

Him: "LOL"

Me: "No really, it is my last night here and it is nearly over" (Put on cute baby face)

Him: "Hmm, ok go in quickly, both of you"

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And that ladies and gentleman, is how you get into a packed club. Of course I left 5 mins after getting in since there wasnt even space to stand. Bes aham shay iny balaght shafy!