My Mama and Me

“Mama barkeely tha3aft ba3ad kilo”
“E 3afya 3al sha6ra, bes ba3ad yabeelich, khasa min ihny”
“Wain?”

She pointed at my ass.

“Yuma hathy insay, mako fayda, hathy ‘trademark’ il 3ayla, sarlich 100 alf sina itgoolynly 3anha. Khal a36eech min il akhir, law aseer 3ood, hem ma ra7 itroo7!”
“La 7abybty lazim itraw7een’ha”

I thought to myself, (Oh no! Not this conversation again!)

“Mama ya3ny ana min wayn yayatny, mo minnich?”

She started laughing and sat on the floor showing me this floor exercise.

“Shofay ana ayam awal knt aroo7 il nady wasawy hal tamreen, win'mas7at mara wa7da! Shofay chithy saway.”

She continued doing that exercise while I was cracking up. I decided enough was enough; she has been nagging about my jiggly ass since I hit puberty. I thought of a new approach.

“Aslan tadryn yuma, il7yn il mawtha il makwa ikbeera, 7ita gamaw iysawoon 3amaleeyat tajmeel 3ashan iykabroonha!”
“Eee ashoof ana thak il yom bil soug, 7a6yn sirwal feeh baloonat bil vatreena”
“Ee seraweel, o 3amaliyaat, kila 3ashan yaboon hathy” I pointed to my ass.

“Ee khosh 3ayal daam ina sarat mawtha, chood iygoom soogich”

Gee wiz, thanks mom :P