Operation Anti-Panti

I am sure you are all familiar with the painful predicament of 'The Wedgie'. The wedgie is when your underwear acts like ass floss. But unlike floss, which is slim and smooth, the wedgie is thick and rough. Kinda like wearing a rope as a thong. Now there are many forms of the wedgie. There is:

• The Slight One-Sided Wedgie - This is when only one side of your underwear is slightly misplaced. This can be annoying because you can feel the unsymmetry on your ass and know with every step you take, it will move closer to being...
• The Full-On One-Sided Wedgie- This is when one side of your underwear is stuck right up your butt crack. So you have one cheek all happy warm and enclosed, and one cheek hanging out all exposed. This is even more apparent when wearing a skirt, and only half your butt is getting aired. The full-on one sided wedgie is quite uncomfortable, however, be cautioned, trying to fix this dilemma by subtely pulling at your panties can result in....
• The Double Wedge - This is when both sides of your underwear are stuck right up your butt causing you excruciating pain. At this point, subtely will not work, and as seen on the streets all over the world, this is the cause for 'Fuck it, I am pulling my underwear out of my ass and I don't give a damn who sees' syndrome.

Now you may be wondering, why the hell I am talking about wedgies, and I will tell you. Throughout my life I have experienced all of the above, most commonly the 'double wedge' waking me from my much needed sleep (yes I have an abundant ass). I started an experiment, buying all kinds of underwear, from boyshort (turns out more cloth = bigger and better wedge) to briefs to minis etc. None of which helped.

Of course fully frustrated now with the equivilant of carpet burns on my ass I decided to start 'Operation Anti-Panti'. Operation 'Anti-Panti', includes burning of ones underwear and either not wearing any or sticking to the good old g-string, since you might as well start off with you underwear up your ass in the first place. At least that way you get to control the size of the wedge!!

So girls, please join me in the 'War Against The Wedge', keep your bras, burn your underwear, and lets all live in a happily unclenched world.

P.S. Men may translate the above as applicable to themselves.