Eat 'Indirectly' Shit

"Honey, can I go with you to parties when we get married?"
"As my bitch you can!"

Needless to say I was not impressed. Boiling with anger I continued to ignore his calls for three days, until one day, while I was at the '7away' the phone beeped with a message and my mind beeped with an idea.

I messaged back "Ok meet me at the seaside, on the condition that you will do anything I say"
He agreed and I put my plan into action.

"Law sama7t, mumkin ta36eeny shay wayid wayid mur."
("Can you give me something very very bitter" )

I took the 'murra' and a bar of soap, paid and left.

I sat at the seaside with the little bag, pondering my situation. My anger taking over me. In those days, I was a little fireball, and worked hard to control my reactions. He walked up to me and tried to make conversation. I answered,

"Eat this." And handed him the bar of soap, the guilt at my cruelty pushed aside by anger and the little voice that told me, there was no way in hell he would do such a thing, and I could instead escape this marriage.

He looked at me incredulously and pleaded forgiveness. I stayed still as a statue unanswering, my stance unwavering, until finally, he unwrapped the soap and started to nibble.

I smiled.

"Do you forgive me now?" He asked.
"No. You have another punishment." I handed him the 'Murra'.

The same scenario was repeated, but this time he actually gagged at the extreme taste. Sputtering all over the ground, a group of women turned to stare as they walked past, and I smiled triumphantly.

"Now remember that next time you decide to call me a bitch!"

I drove off amazed at the lengths this man had gone through for me. Then burst out laughing as I remembered the '7away's' words,

"Hatha murra mishan saway is'haal wajid wajid gawy"

Poor guy, turns out that wasn't an exxageration :)